Did I ever show you guys this site?
08-30-2001, 07:58 AM
#1
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Did I ever show you guys this site?
I didn't know what to do with it so all I've been doing is compiling AW jokes when I see em.
Skarekrow has been stealing the spotlight lately...
regards,
Liam<ul><li><a href="http://thissite.is****ing****.com/">Audiworld jokes page.</a></li></ul>
Skarekrow has been stealing the spotlight lately...
regards,
Liam<ul><li><a href="http://thissite.is****ing****.com/">Audiworld jokes page.</a></li></ul>
08-30-2001, 08:26 AM
#4
Heres one for your site
Urinalysis
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,"
Mike replies."There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a
urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks
for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has
ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls.
They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,"
Mike replies."There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a
urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks
for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results.
He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has
ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls.
They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
08-30-2001, 09:31 AM
#5
AudiWorld Super User
Liam, I will be in Montreal next weekend....what's fun to do there?q
I have a wedding to go to in VT, and am going to head up Sunday and monday to Motreal. So far I only have the Molson tour planned.
08-30-2001, 10:21 AM
#7
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You coming down with your wife?
Take her shopping downtown... Ste-Catherine street..
lots of shops and stuff, and the street is infamous for its strip joints too.
You can also come see me race on Sunday, the track is about 20-30 minutes away from downtown...
Where are you staying exactly?
regards,
Liam
lots of shops and stuff, and the street is infamous for its strip joints too.
You can also come see me race on Sunday, the track is about 20-30 minutes away from downtown...
Where are you staying exactly?
regards,
Liam
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08-30-2001, 10:56 AM
#9
AudiWorld Super User
Go to the Old City on Sunday. Lots of fun!
And while you are in the Old City of Montreal, grab some bagels. They are AWESOME! (And this is coming from a NY'er who KNOWS bagels. My New York City snobbery was humbled when I tried Montreal bagels.)
Montreal is a fun town no matter where you go.
Like Liam said, there are also tons of strip clubs. Much better than the strip clubs in Florida. (Trust me, I know! ;-)
If you are in town for two days, have breakfast one day in Old Montreal (bagels & lox), and the other day, go to a restaurant -- I think the name is called "The Good Egg." Awesome place. And their menu is a lot of fun to read too.
Have fun,
Peter
Montreal is a fun town no matter where you go.
Like Liam said, there are also tons of strip clubs. Much better than the strip clubs in Florida. (Trust me, I know! ;-)
If you are in town for two days, have breakfast one day in Old Montreal (bagels & lox), and the other day, go to a restaurant -- I think the name is called "The Good Egg." Awesome place. And their menu is a lot of fun to read too.
Have fun,
Peter
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