Cool Craig

> >>>
> >>>TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
> >>>
> >>>> >1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking
>them.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
> >>>
> >>>> >3.a. You can legally kill yourself
> >>>
> >>>> >3.b. You can legally be killed
> >>>
> >>>> >4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks
> >>>Copenhagen is your capital...
> >>>
> >>>> >6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a
> >>>national tradition.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
> >>>
> >>>> >8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and
> >>>still you've never seen your neighbours.
> >>>
> >>>> >9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started,
> >>>blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
> >>>
> >>>> >1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your
> >>>country.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. You are either
> >>>
> >>>> >4.a. Like the Dutch, just less efficient
> >>>
> >>>> >4.b. Like the French, just less romantic
> >>>
> >>>> >4.c. Like the Germans
> >>>
> >>>> >5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French
> >>>and they make fun of you.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares
> >>>
> >>>> >9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or
>sex-offenders.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?
>
> >>>
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
> >>>
> >>>> >1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on
> >>>Channel 4.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's
>countries.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street
> >>>humiliating your sense of national pride.
> >>>
> >>>> >9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just **** in the street.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
> >>>
> >>>> >1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You can call Budweiser beer.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. You can be a crook and still be president.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. You get to be really obese.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and
>nobody
> >>>seems to care.
> >>>
> >>>> >9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".
> >>>
> >>>> >10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth with condom
>on.
> >>>> >TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN
> >>>
> >>>> >1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24-hour
> >>>ozone-hole radiation the other half.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. You can go skiing in your knickers.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - it's fairly
> >>>spacious.
> >>>
> >>>> >9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about
> >>>killing polar bears and ******** penguins - and they believe you.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. You can actually get bored with blondes.
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
> >>>
> >>>> >1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. Warm beer.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. Union jack underpants.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.
> >>>
> >>>> >9. Ditto changing underwear.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. Beats being Welsh.
> >>>
> >>>> >
> >>>
> >>>> >
> >>>
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH
> >>>
> >>>> >1. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >2. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >4. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >5. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >6. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >7. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >8. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >9. You ain't English!
> >>>
> >>>> >10. You ain't English!
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
> >>>
> >>>> >1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. No need to worry about tax returns.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. Glorious military history prior to 400BC.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. Political stability.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. Flexible working hours.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. Live near the Pope.
> >>>
> >>>> >9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.
> >>>
> >>>> >
> >>>
> >>>> >
> >>>
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
> >>>
> >>>> >1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. Honesty.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight
> >>>clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. You get to eat bull's *********.
> >>>
> >>>> >9. Gibraltar.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.
> >>>
> >>>> >
> >>>
> >>>> >
> >>>
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
> >>>
> >>>> >1.
> >>>
> >>>> >2.
> >>>
> >>>> >3.
> >>>
> >>>> >4.
> >>>
> >>>> >5.
> >>>
> >>>> >6.
> >>>
> >>>> >7.
> >>>
> >>>> >8.
> >>>
> >>>> >9.
> >>>
> >>>> >10.
> >>>
> >>>> >
> >>>
> >>>> >Ok, give them a second chance
> >>>
> >>>> >1. Oktoberfest.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. Okotberfest-beer.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. BMW.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. VW.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. Audi.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. Mercedes.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to
> >>>jail in any other country of the world.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.
> >>>
> >>>> >9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law
>(yet).
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
> >>>
> >>>> >1. Chicken Madras.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. Lamb Passanda.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. Onion Bhaji.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. Bombay Potato.
> >>>
> >>>> >5. Chicken Tikka Masala.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. Rogan Josh.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. Popadoms.
> >>>
> >>>> >8. Chicken Dopiasa
> >>>> >9. Kingfisher lager.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when talking.
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
> >>>
> >>>> >1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?

> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
> >>>
> >>>> >1. Guinness.
> >>>
> >>>> >2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
> >>>
> >>>> >4. Pubs never close.

> >>>> >5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican
> >>>Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex
>with a
> >>>condom on.
> >>>
> >>>> >6. No one can ever remember the night before.
> >>>> >7. Kill people you don't agree with.

> >>>> >8. Stew.
> >>>> >9. More Guinness.

> >>>> >10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the
> >>>morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
> >>>> >1. It beats being an American.

> >>>> >2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital
>to
> >>>the ground.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
> >>>> >4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital
>to
> >>>the ground.

> >5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
> >>>
> >>>> >6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her
>popularity
> >>>ratings soar.
> >>>
> >>>> >7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital
>to
> >>>the ground.
> >>>> >8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in
> >>>their skins.
> >>>> >9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
> >>>
> >>>> >10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital
> >>>to the ground.

>TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
> >>>> >1. Know your great grand dad was a murdering bar steward that no
> >>>civilized nation on earth wanted.

>2. Fosters Lager.
> > >3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000
> >>>years because you think it belongs to you.
>4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
>5. Tact and sensitivity.

> >>>> >6. Bondi Beach.
> >>>
>7. Other beaches.

>8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.

>9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.

> >>>> >10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the
> >>>beach.
> >>>> >TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK
> >>>
> >>>> >1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real
>culture
> >>>most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes.
> >>>> >2. The police are even more corrupt than the criminals they are
> >>>supposed to be chasing.
> >>>
> >>>> >3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the
> >>>thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around
>retching
their stomach contents up at the sight.

>5. Young women can sport moustaches.

>6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put
in a zoo.
>7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest
>of
the world sees it as an instrument of torture.

>8.You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants
>to
let everyone else around the world know about it.

>9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.

>10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.