OT: Post your best sarcastic response to the officer's question: "Do you know why I pulled you over?
11-28-2001, 08:30 PM
#14
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Someone posted these awhile back (quite a few)...
Most are lame yes, but I didn't write them so...
Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
Want to race to the station, Sparky?
I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!
On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
You'll never get those cuffs on me...You *****!
Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?
How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?
Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.
Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
"Bad Cop! No Donut!"
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.
You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
"Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"
I only had one officer Mr. Keg..
Didn't I see you get your *** kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?
Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.
I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket
So, uh, you "on the take", or what?
Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?
Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the video camcorder.
Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
Hey, you look like that girl I ****ed a few days ago...
Aren't you one of the Village People?
Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife!
Yes ... but I'm not sure why I stopped!
Even a blind chicken gets some grain once in a while....
Your wife was asking for me again?
Was it the FUC COPS license plate?
Because I'm a bigger JERK than you?
All I know is I was spilling my beer all over the place.
No *******, why don't you tell me...
Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
Want to race to the station, Sparky?
I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!
On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
You'll never get those cuffs on me...You *****!
Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
Hey, wasn't your daughter a pork queen?
How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
Hey officer, is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
Yeah you can see my license and registration, officer, but could you hold my beer for a minute?
Hey, you must've been doing' about 125mph (200km/h) to keep up with me! Good job!
Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer.
Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?
You know, I was going to be cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
"Bad Cop! No Donut!"
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are cars around, that's how far I am behind the other cars.
You're NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?
"Lets do it different this time... I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow"
I only had one officer Mr. Keg..
Didn't I see you get your *** kicked on "COPS" last week on TV?
Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend's bed.
I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket
So, uh, you "on the take", or what?
Gee, officer! That's terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn't let you play with your gun when you were little?
Hey is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile for the video camcorder.
Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
Hey, you look like that girl I ****ed a few days ago...
Aren't you one of the Village People?
Hey officer, want to see a trick? Look at your wife!
Yes ... but I'm not sure why I stopped!
Even a blind chicken gets some grain once in a while....
Your wife was asking for me again?
Was it the FUC COPS license plate?
Because I'm a bigger JERK than you?
All I know is I was spilling my beer all over the place.
No *******, why don't you tell me...
11-28-2001, 08:31 PM
#15
I ran out of gas. You lucked out. I'm just playing with you..(and speed off).
Was trying to see if you were really cute or not. (if it's a girl cop)
You want to trade cars?
Your wife is horny again and you don't have the time?
yes officer, she's done, you can take her home now. (zipping up pants)
Honestly, that 'vote for Clinton' bumper sticker was an act of vandalism on my car, I really hate that bitch.
Sorry officer, I'll stop driving on the snowmobile trails.... But Quattro is awfully fun, you sure you don't want to try it? I'll take your sled, you take my car, and I'll *try* to keep up with you.
No sir, that's not my beer can. No, the Aftershock crystals stuck to my shirt are not mine either. That vomit, yeah, that's mine. *grin*
You want to trade cars?
Your wife is horny again and you don't have the time?
yes officer, she's done, you can take her home now. (zipping up pants)
Honestly, that 'vote for Clinton' bumper sticker was an act of vandalism on my car, I really hate that bitch.
Sorry officer, I'll stop driving on the snowmobile trails.... But Quattro is awfully fun, you sure you don't want to try it? I'll take your sled, you take my car, and I'll *try* to keep up with you.
No sir, that's not my beer can. No, the Aftershock crystals stuck to my shirt are not mine either. That vomit, yeah, that's mine. *grin*
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