absolutcq20v

The XD has a grip safety, which I haven't liked on the 2 guns I have fired with them...but you never know, maybe the XD will change my mind.

So far, the best feeling pistol (out of about 8-10) that I've test-driven in the past 5 years was a S&W 45ACP (speaking of which)...I don't recall th e model, but it was a platic/composite frame. The 45 is nice n powerful, but ammo is a little mo' money. Plus, I'm thinking about getting something tuned down a little that my girl can fire without being beat up, thrown around, or intimidated. She's shot a .22, so a 9m would be no real change. I think a .38 or .40 could be a good compromise. All in due time.

CC Rider

If kick is an issue for the girl, but you only want to buy one gun, then another solution is to buy the gun you want, but make your own ammo.

Most people that make their own ammo want very specific loads, or very precise shells, or they want to save money. But another benefit is making lighter loads for practice. My girlfriend tried a Sig P220 in .45ACP followed by a Sig P239 in .40S&W. She cringed after the .40 but had no real problem with the .45. The reason is because the .45 owner made the ammo and he made it deliberately light.

You'd have to buy a press and scale and a couple of other tools probably, then all of the components (bullets, powder, primers, shells) but it would solve your problem if you only want one gun but don't want to choose based on her preferences.

Store-bought .40 ammo is kinda hot. I don't think she'd like it.

absolutcq20v

...is bring her out to a few rental joints, go through a few boxes and see A. which one she likes the most and B. IF she even LIKES shooting and would want to own one.