Audi Dudey

Basic Rules For Driving In New Jersey...
>
> 1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver
> never uses them.
>
> 2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and
> the car in front of you,or the space will be filled in by somebody else
> putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
>
> 3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going
> with the flow.
>
> 4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you
have
> of getting hit.
>
> 5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it
> and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your
> insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at
> all stop signs.
>
> 6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people
> can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane
> waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the
> orange construction barrels.
>
> 7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New
> Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have
anything
> to lose.
>
> 8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
> ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal
> pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your
legs.
>
> 9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way
> to scare people entering the highway.
>
> 10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are
> apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.
>
> 11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
> move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams
> behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
>
> 12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
> rush-hour traffic in New Jersey.
>
> 13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even
someone
> changing a tire.
>
> 14. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom
> driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key
> locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
>
> 15. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't
> move the instant the light changes.
>
> 16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
> before proceeding.
>
> 17. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there
> first,by whatever means necessary.
>
> 18. Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye
makeup
> at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
>
> 19. Real New Jersey men drivers can remove their girlfriend's panties and
> bra at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
>
> 20. In the New Jersey area 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a
> polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.
>
>
>

Warren T. (ha, ha, get it?)

Dude, I've lived here for 5 years, and these are so true that they're not even funny to me!

muppco

Sad to say, but much of that pathetic behavior has become common in most large metroplitan areas.

BukkakeRocky

Hey!

KurtW

That's the "short list" of Texas Driving Rules!!!

shuto

It's the only way to drive....is there a problem with that!!!

NCC170S4

And Texas, New York, Los Angeles, Seattle, Boston......

ssi

I don't see anything wrong with #6. I live in PA and it amazes me when there is a sign that says "right lane closed 1 mile ahead, use both lanes to merge point" and everyone lines up in the left lane. When you try to drive up the right lane cars will swerve out to block you or trucks will sit in the right lane with half a mile of open lane in front of them. At least in Jersey people use both lanes and most are considerate enough to alternately merge. For some reason people in PA just don't understand what "use both lanes to merge point" means.

Dan ex S4 owner

Agreed...using both lanes is the most efficient use of road...no reason to merge prematurely.