SMEGHEAD

I'd like to start this list off:

Bonnet(UK) - Hood(US)
Boot(UK) - Trunk(US)
****in old slag(UK) - Hooker(US)
*****(UK) - Vibrator(US)

Anyone care to add to this....?

Farb

haha

SForked

noice

mtaesch (Matt T)

****(UK) - Screw/Fvck(US)

S4Poor/deux@Curbside

BRITISH TO AMERICAN -- (Top) -- (Bottom)
Accumulator (automotive) = battery, car battery
Alsatian (dog) = German shepherd
Articulated lorry = tractor-trailer (truck), a "semi"
*** = donkey; U.S. *** = G.B. "****," i.e. one's backside (in addition to normal "donkey")
Athletics (an ... meet) = track and field
Backlog = log-jam, pile-up (of business orders, for example). U.S. backlog = comfortable reserve of orders -- difference between the two is in opposite interpretation or connotation of same basic situation.
Bank holiday = holiday
Bap = bun, hamburger bun, hamburger roll
Mrs. Beeton = Fanny Farmer (standard cooking, household reference book)
Bespoke = custom-tailored, tailor-made
Big Dipper = roller coaster (at a "Fun-Fair" = "Amusement Park"
Bilberry = blueberry
"Bird" = "chick"
Biro = Papermate (ball-point pen trade name which equals "generic" name)
Biscuit = cookie (U.S. "biscuit" is a baked bread, "bap," "scone"
Blancmange = vanilla pudding
Block, block of flats = apartment building (U.S. term "block" [city block] unknown as such in British English, though usually understandable.
"Bomb" (theater terminology) = a "hit," a great success. U.S. "bomb" = G.B. failure, critical disaster, i.e. the two are exact opposites in sentences like "The play was a bomb!"
Boiler suit = overalls
Bonnet (automotive) = hood (of a car...)
Boot (automotive) = trunk (of a car...)
Bottom drawer = hope chest
Bowler (hat) = derby (special connotations & different pronunc.)
Braces = suspenders; U.S. suspenders = G.B. garters, stocking fasteners
Brambleberry = blackberry
Bottom of the street = end of the street
Box (TV) = Tube (both slang, colloquial terms)
Bull = "mickey mouse" (unnecessary military drill); U.S. bull = G.B. ****
Bum = ***, rectum; U.S. bum = G.B. tramp, derelict
Bun in the oven = pregnant, eating for two
Call box = (tele)phone booth
Camp bed = cot; U.S. cot = G.B. baby bed
Car park = parking lot
Caretaker (for a building) = janitor (not same as "vahtimestari")
Carriage (railway) = railroad car, subway car
Carrier bag = shopping bag
Caucus = permanent group in a political party; U.S. caucus = G.B. ad hoc planning meeting of a group in a political party
Central reservation = median strip (between halves of a divided highway)
Charge sheet = police record
Chemist (drugstore) = druggist
Chips = french fries; U.S. chips often = dried buffalo, cow dung (other cases, i.e. poker chips, wood chips, the same)
Chucker-out = bouncer (doorman or "enforcer" in a bar/restaurant
"In the City" = "on Wall Street" (in main financial district)
City editor = financial editor; U.S. city editor = G.B. "community news editor"
Cloakroom = toilet; U.S. cloakroom = clothes closet, garment storage area
Coach = intercity bus
Combinations = union suit (colloquial for long underwear)
Comforter = scarf; U.S. comforter = heavy quilt, blanket
Comp?re = Master of ceremonies, M.C. (of TV game show, etc.)
Constable = (police) officer
"To cop" = "to get" something unpleasant, i.e. "to cop a 15-pound fine." U.S. "to cop" = to plead guilty to a lesser charge in order to avoid prosecution & probable conviction on a more serious charge ("to cop a plea" = "plea-bargaining")
Corn = all grain crops; U.S. corn = G.B. "maize" only.
Costermonger = pushcart seller
(Sent to) Coventry = ostracized
Crisps = potato chips
Cupboard = closet; U.S. closet = G.B. w.c., or toilet
Davenport = antique folding writing desk; U.S. davenport = large sofa, often which folds out into a bed at night.
Deposit account = savings account
Dinner jacket = tuxedo ("black tie" formal dress)
Dormitory = bedroom; U.S. dormitory = G.B. residence hall
Dresser = kitchen sideboard; U.S. dresser = bedroom drawers, vanity
"Duck" = "goose egg" (a zero on the scoreboard of a sports match)
Dumb = mute; U.S. dumb usually means "stupid" rather than "mute," which is a secondary meaning in U.S. usage.
Dustbin = garbage can, ashcan (exterior waste-disposal unit)
Dynamo (automotive) = generator (within automobile engine)
Earth wire = ground wire (in electricity, electronics)
Elastic band = rubber band
To Enjoin = to compel, to legally force; U.S. enjoin = to legally forbid -- i.e. same term in same general contextual usage has precisely the opposite meaning
Ex-serviceman = veteran; U.S. veteran = G.B. old ex-serviceman; (U.S. term has no special age connotation, only that the person have had prior military experience sometime)
*** = (a) cigarette; (b) public-school underclass "servant"; U.S. *** = low-slang term for male homosexual.
Fanny = vagina (vulgar usage); U.S. fanny = light euphemism for "backside," either male or female.
First floor = second floor, etc. (Britain walks in ground floor, goes up 1 set of stairs to first floor; U.S. ground floor and first floor are the same.
Fish slice = pancake turner, spatula (kitchen tool); U.S. spatula = G.B. tongue depressor (medical instrument)
Fitted carpet = wall-to-wall carpeting
Flan = pie, fruit pie
Flannel = washcloth; U.S. flannel = heavy warm cotton fabric; "flannels" would be long underwear made from such heavy warm fabric.
Flat = apartment; U.S. flat = tenement flat = poor-standard slum apartment.
Flick knife = switch-blade knife, a switchblade
Flyover = overpass (as in a bridge over a road); U.S. flyover = airplane passing over a certain place, as in military parade "flyovers"; verb is "to overfly."
Form (school) = grade [i.e. first form = first grade in school]
Garden = yard; U.S. garden = vegetable garden, fljower garden, i.e. area of special cultivation. U.S. yard = G.B. paved area (lorry yards)
Goods (car, train) = freight; U.S. goods = supplies, commercial stock
Grind = sexual intercourse; U.S. grind = slang for "hard (routine) work."
Haberdasher = notions seller; U.S. haberdasher = men's clothing seller
To Hack = to (deliberately) kick; U.S. to hack = to chop, cut viciously.
High street = Main street
To Hire = to rent (in most cases); U.S. to hire = to employ Hire-purchase = (the "never-never") = installment plan
Hoarding = billboard (large advertising sign alongside road)
Hold up = traffic jam; U.S. holdup = robbery at gunpoint.
Homely = home-loving, domestic, pleasant; U.S. homely = plain- looking (female), therefore often "left" at home.
To Hoover = to vacuum (carpets, etc.) "Hoover" in the U.S. is a brand name only, never used as a verb.
Inland = internal, domestic (Inland Revenue = Internal Revenue)
Inverted commas = quotation marks (GB = 'xx'; USA = "xx")
Inquiry agent = private detective
Jelly = Jello (deriving from brand name Jell-O, gelatin dessert)
"On the job" = having sexual intercourse; U.s. "on the job" = while working, learning, i.e. "on the job training."
Joint = pot roast; U.S. "joint" = marijuana cigarette
Juggernaut lorry = a very large truck, an overlong truck, a "double semi" truck
Jumble sale = rummage sale
Jumper = light pullover (sweater); U.S. jumper = type of knee- length woman's dress worn over blouse or sweater
Kirby grips = bobby pins (to fasten long hair ...)
A Knock-up = (tennis) to warm up, to volley a few, to practice-volley
To Knock up = to awaken, call early in the morning; U.S. "to knock up" is colloquial for "to impregnate"
Lacquer = hairspray; U.S. lacquer = wood varnish, shellac (high-gloss), i.e. protective decorative wood coating
Ladder = (in women's stockings" = a runner, a run
Lay-by = (beside a road) = a pull-off, a rest area.
Left-luggage office = check room, baggage check (room)
Level crossing = railroad crossing.
Lift = elevator
Lip balm = chapstick
Logic-chopping = splitting hairs, hair-splitting
Long jump (in athletics) = broad jump (in track and field)
Lorry = truck
Loud-hailer = bullhorn, amplified megaphone
Lucky dip = grab bag (children's party game or activity ...)
Lumber room = spare room, storage room (in a home)
Mackintosh = raincoat, overcoat, trenchcoat
Mains = ordinary built-in home electrical network (no special word as equivalent in U.S.)
Market garden = truck farm
Marrow (vegetable) = squash, gourd
Mason = stoneworker; U.S. mason can be stone- or brickworker
Marriage lines = marriage certificate
Mean = stingy, tight with money; U.S. "mean" normally means nasty, spiteful, ill-meaning in action toward another
Mess kit = formal military dress for ceremonial dining; U.S. mess kit = army or boy scout utensils for cooking or eating a meal on the trail.
Minced meat = hamburger meat, ground beef; U.S. mincemeat = sweet, spicy ground meat/fruit/nut combination used for making pies, especially around Thanksgiving/Christmas
Mineral water = any carbonated soft drink; U.S. mineral water = bottled natural water (containing normal minerals) from spring or health spa, Perrier water, etc.
Mistress = teacher in girls' school; U.S. mistress = lover (extramarital)
Mob = gang, group (neutral); U.S. mob = angry crowd; "the mob" = Mafia
Motorist, motoring = driver, driving
Music Hall = vaudeville (generic entertainment type/place name)
Nappy = diaper (for infants not toilet-trained)
A Neat drink = a straight drink, i.e. "give me a straight whiskey" = whiskey without water or other additives
Nervy = nervous, jumpy; U.S. nervy = bold, impertinent, i.e. nearly the opposite of the British usage
Night club = private membership club; U.S. nightclubs are public (commercial) entertainment places
Number plate = license plate (on automobiles)
Off-license = liquor store
Old boy (girl) = alumni, alumnus, alumna [of a school]
Pantechnicon = moving van
Panda car = police patrol car, police cruiser
Patience (card game) = Solitaire
Pecker (keep your pecker up) = keep your chin up; U.S. pecker = *****
Pram (peramulator) = baby carriage, baby buggy, stroller, walker
Petrol = gasoline, gas (to go in automobiles, airplane, etc.)
Pie = meat pie; U.S. pie is always a fruit or fruit-derived pie, unless "a meat pie" is specifically indicated
Pillar-box = mailbox, post office box, letter box, letter drop
Pissed (he was really...) = drunk; U.S. "pissed = angry, upset
Pitch (soccer) = field (football) [GB "football" = US "soccer"]
Plimsolls = sneakers, tennis shoes, gym shoes
Point = electric outlet, railroad switch (depending on context)
Polka dots = chocolate chips (food product for baking)
Prawn = shrimp
Prom, prom concert = music concerts where most of the audience is standing; U.S. prom = dance, semi-formal, especially at end of year in high schools, colleges
Rates = local, municipal property taxes
Redundant = laid off (from a job); U.S. redundant = superfluous (no connotation of connection with jobs at all)
Return ticket = round-trip ticket
Ringway = circular road (around a city), bypass
Rise = raise in salary
To Roger = to "screw," have sex with; to exploit, take advantage of, to use
Roll neck (pullover) = turtleneck (sweater).
Roundabout = traffic circle
Rubber = eraser; U.S. rubber = condom, prophylactic device
Saloon = "sedan" car (automobile); US saloon = western-style bar
Saloon bar = one section of an English pub
Sanitary towel = sanitary napkin, feminine hygienic item
A good screw = a good salary; U.S. "good screw" equals good "****" or good sexual experience
To Screw = to cajole, persuade, extract money from; U.S. "to screw" = to have sex with, fornicate
Season ticket = commuter (train, bus) weekly or monthly ticket; U.S. season ticket is admission ticket to all home games in one season of a particular sports team
To Second to = to temporarily loan staff to another job or unit
Sellotape = Scotch tape (both brand names now used as "generics"
"Semi" = duplex, duplex house; U.S. "semi" = tractor-trailer truck rig
Seminary = Roman Catholic seminary only; U.S. Seminary can be ANY religion, i.e. Lutheran, Methodist seminaries
Sherbet = powdered, fruit-flavored candy; U.S. sherbet = G.B. sorbet (pronounced "soorbay")
Shorthand-typist = stenographer
To shy = to throw something (he shied a rock at the stray dog...)
Sideboards = sideburns (in a hairstyle)
Single = one-way ticket; U.S. "single" in context would mean "only one" as opposed to "several" tickets
To Snog = to neck (i.e. kissing, hugging, etc., esp teenagers)
Spinster = any unmarried woman; U.S. spinster is always OLD unmarried woman
Standard lamp = floor lamp (as opposed to table or wall lamp)
S.T.D. (subscriber trunk dialling) = direct distance dialling [on the telephone, as opposed to dialling through operator]
Steps = ladder; U.S. "steps" always would mean staircase, built- in stairway or staircase
To stream (pupils in a school) = to track (streaming = tracking)
Stroke (punctuation) = diagonal, slash
To Stuff = to fornicate, have sex with; U.S. "I'm stuffed..." = to be comfortably, pleasantly full of food, satiated
Sub-editor = copy reader or rewrite person, in journalism
Subs = dues, as in union dues, etc.
Subway = underground walking passage, underpass, pedestrian tunnel; U.S. subway = G.B. "underground," i.e. underground railway system for public transportation
Superannuation scheme = retirement pension plan
Supply teacher = substitute teacher
Supertax = surtax
Surgery = a doctor's office, office hours, reception time; U.S. "surgery" refers to "surgeon" operating on a patient
Suspenders = garters, for socks or stockings only; U.S. suspenders = G.B. braces, for holding up trousers
Sweet = dessert, or piece of candy
Sweetshop = candy store
To Table (parliamentary procedure, conference terminology) = to put on agenda for immediate handling; U.S. "to table" = to put aside [indefinitely], to delay further handling
Tannoy = public address (p.a.) amplification system
Teat = baby bottle nipple; US teat = GB nipple = breast nipple
Terrace house = row house, garden apartment, town house
Are you Through? (telephone) = are you connected; U.S. "are you through"? = are you finished, completed, with your call
To tick = to check, place check mark beside
Tights = hose, panty hoseh, nylons, nylon stockings; U.S. tights = leotards, skin-tight exercise suit, knit stocking pants
Tinkle = telephone call [give me a tinkle sometime]; U.S. "tinkle" = children's talk for "to urinate"
Tip = garbage dump; U.S. tip = hint, advice, clue
Torch = flashlight; U.S. torch = burning, flaming light or weapon
Touchline = sideline (in sports, such as on soccer pitch, etc.)
Tower block = high-rise apartment building
Trade union = labor union (but usually organized by "trades" in England, by "industry" in the U.S. -- US "Auto Workers' Union" would be represented by different "trades" in GB)
Tram = streetcar, trolley car
Transport cafe = truck stop (roadside cafeteria, restaurant, popular with truck [lorry] drivers
Traveller = travelling salesman
Treacle = molasses
Trousers = pants; U.S. pants = G.B. underwear shorts
Trunk call = long-distance call (on a telephone)
Turn it up (colloquial) = stop it, cut it out! U.S. "turn it up" = increase the volume
Undercarrige = landing gear (aircraft)
Underdone = rare (extent to which you wish your meat cooked)
Underground= subway (cf "subway")
Vest = undershirt; U.S. Vest = G.B. waistcoat
Windscreen (automotive) = windshield
Wing (automotive) = fender, bumper (pre-70s designs...)
White spirit = turpentine, paint thinner; U.S. "white lightning" (spirits) = potent home-distilled backwoods alcohol!
Wholemeal = whole-wheat (bread, flour, etc.)
Yankee/Yank = any American in general, U.S. Yankee = Northeast erner ONLY, i.e. specific regional, historical definition
Zebra crossing = crosswalk, pedestrian crossing (Ped Xing)
"Zed" = "Zee" (pronunciation of last letter in alphabet)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AMERICAN TO BRITISH -- (Top) -- (Bottom)
Bathroom = toilet, w.c. (G.B. bathroom will have bath, washbasin or shower only)
Billboard = hoarding
Biscuit = scone; G.B. biscuit = U.S. cookie
Billy club = truncheon
Blank = empty form, i.e. telegraph blank
Block (city block) = city block bounded by streets on 4 sides, distance between 2 streets or crossings in same direction
Block-busting = "penetration" of a residential area by an ethnic or minority group unwelcome by original residents, who often then sell and leave
Blotter = police official daily record of happenings in local precinct office
Blowout = puncture (flat tire on car, bicycle, etc.)
Blue book = local social register of high-status families
Blue Cross/Blue Shield = two different large health-insurance companies
Blue laws = restrictive community "moral" laws dating from Puritan times, such as prohibition of liquor sales on Sunday, limits on public entertainment on Sundays, etc.
Bomb (theater) = a failure; G.B. bomb (theatre) = great success
Boner = gaffe, mistake, faux pas
Boot camp = military basic training period/location
Boondocks = backwoods
Bourbon = corn- (maize-) derived whiskey
Box car = good waggon (U.S. spelling "wagon")
Bronx cheer = raspberry (critical noise ...)
Brownie = small, "heavy," rich-chocolate baked biscuit; also young Girl scout
Brunch = mid-morning meal (combination of "breakfast & lunch")
Bush league = baseball "minor" training leagues; also connotes "amateurism," unprofessionalism, etc.
Caboose = last waggon on a goods train
Candy = sweets
Car fare = money for transportation fares
Carry-out (food) = take-away (food)
Catch (to play catch [baseball]) = "playing tag" (US "playing tag" is children's game where one tries to run and "catch" or touch ("tag") one of the other children playing)
"Catch up with him" = "Catch him up"
Checkers = draughts (the game, played on checker/chess board)
Checking account = current account (banking)
Comfort station = public convenience
Cone = cornet ("ice cream" cones--British "ice cream" also quite a different commodity)
Cord (electrical) = flex, lead, wire
Corn = maize; G.B. corn = all types of grain, unless specified
Cotton candy = candy floss
Certified Public Accountant (CPA) = Chartered Pub. Account. (CPA)
Cube sugar = lump sugar
Diaper = nappy
Dishpan = washing-up bowl
Distaff = female
Double header = two sports games played as a single event; also used metaphorically
Draft (military) = conscription into the armed forces
Druggist = chemist (in commercial drugstore or pharmacy)
Editorial = leading article (in a newspaper, periodical)
Eggnog = egg flip (special Christmas drink in U.S. only)
Engineer = railroad engine-driver
Enjoin = to forbid from doing; GB enjoin = to compel to do
Eraser = rubber; G.B. rubber is U.S. condom
"Fairy" = male homosexual, or highly effiminate-acting male
Field hockey = hockey; U.S. hockey (by itself) = ice hockey
Filling station = petrol station
Flashlight = torch
Football = U.S. (American) football, not "soccer"
Formula = baby's prepared liquid food, replaces breast milk
"Freebee" = anything given away free
Freeway = motorway
Freight car = goods waggon (on a train)
Gangway! = exclamation to "clear a path!"; G.B. gangway = U.S. aisle (in a theater, etc.), U.S. gangway [naval term] = entrance "bridge" from shore onto a ship
Glee club = club or group for choral singing
Glue factory = knacker's yard
"Gofer" [to GO out FOR something ... ] = "dogsbody"
Goldbrick(er) = loaf(er)
Good Humor Man = ice cream peddler in residential areas
Graham cracker = wholemeal biscuit
Grandstand play = done to impress the audience in the grandstands rather than as a requirement of the game, "showy" action
Ground rules= specific local rules for particular event or action, sports or otherwise
Half & Half = dairy mixture of half cream, half milk (to put in coffee, for use in baking, etc.)
Handball = game played by hitting a small, hard ball with bare hand against a wall in room similar to a squash court -- European "handball" is not 'known' in the U.S.
Hard-on = male sexual erection
High school = secondary school, senior (upper) secondary school
Home free (colloquial) = home & dry
Homely = plain-featured, -looking; GB homely = domestic, pleasant
Horny = randy
Housing project = housing development, housing estate
Huddle = planning, tactics conference, especially in American football, but also metaphorically in other situations
Hung jury = jury that is divided, cannot reach a verdict
Jello = jelly; U.S. "jelly" = G.B. "jam"; U.S. "jam" = G.B. "thick [GB] jelly with fruit embedded"
Kerosene = paraffin, U.S. paraffin = GB paraffin wax
Longshoreman = docker, dock worker
Lox = smoked salmon, especially American Jewish usage
Martini = gin & vermouth (combined) cocktail (does not refer to "Vermouth" brand name)
Mean = nasty
Mobile home = (trailer) house on wheels, can be moved behind truck, auto
Mononucleosis, "Mono" = glandular fever
Nervy = impudent, impertinent, with a lot of nerve (cf. GB Nervy)
Night crawler = fishing worm
Oatmeal = porridge
Ordinance = by-law (law at local city, municipal level)
Overpass = flyover
Pacifier = dummy (what baby uses to suck on when not eating)
Parakeet = budgerigar
Parka = anorak
Patrol wagon, Paddy wagon = black maria
Pegged pants = tapered trousers
To pinch-hit for = to substitute for in a particular tactical situation (batting in Am baseball, or metaphorically)
Plexiglass = Perspex glass (brand names used as generics)
Potato chips = potato crisps
Quarterback = Am. football team leader, also to direct, manage, in other situations
Railroad = railway; U.S. railway = tracks, roadbed which trains run ON; U.S. "railroad" refers to the enterprise, i.e. the Union Pacific Railroad
Raise = rise; U.S. "rise" is slang for male erection, or, "to get a sensation from ..."
Realtor = estate (real estate) agent
Retroactive = retrospective
Roomer = lodger
Roster = rota
Rubber = condom; GB rubber = US eraser
Rube Goldberg = Heath Robinson (stereotyped creators of wacky, bizarre "inventions" in USA, GB)
Sedan = saloon car
Shellac = high-gloss varnish
Slingshot = catapult; U.S. "catapult" = G.B. "sling"
Special Delivery = Express (postal) Mail
Station wagon = estate car
Thumbtack = drawing pin (small, flat-headed tack used on bulletin boards or to attach papers to wooden surfaces; U.S. "drawing pin" a long, narrow, sharp pin used in sewing, clothing design, always with soft fabrics or paper)
Thread = cotton; U.S. cotton = plant, fiber, material only
Trash = rubbish
Trashcan = dustbin; trashman = dustman
Turtleneck = polo neck (sweaters or pullovers)
Vaudeville = Music hall (type of entertainment, style of theater)
Wash up = to wash oneSELF, not the dishes; G.B. to wash up = to do the dishes
Wax paper = greaseproof paper
Yard = garden; U.S. garden = vegetable or flower garden (cultivated area); GB yard = US paved area, not grassy lawn)
ZIP code = postal code
Zucchini (squash) = courgette (marrow)

TwinTurboTerror

Shooting brake / Estate - Wagon (?); Saloon - Sedan; Tyre - Tire; Petrol - Gas... that's all I know.

SMEGHEAD

Cor blimey guvnor! - do you have a UK-US dictionary to hand by any chance!!!!???

Farb

hmm now I know why few was in astricts

S4Poor/deux@Curbside

A Briton's Guide to Confusing and Embarrassing Words

Aluminium. Over here we say 'al-u-min-i-um'. You say 'aloom-i-num'. Neither nation can spell the word.... (Aluminiumiumium?)
***. To us a quadraped of the horse family or a stupid person. The word you guys are looking for in British English is '****'.
Aubergine. Frankly foul purple vegetable used in moussaka. You call them eggplants.
Autumn. My favourite time of year when the leaves turn orange, red and yellow. You call it 'Fall'. I prefer Autumn.
Banger. Three meanings in the UK: a sausage, an old car well past it's prime and a small firework that makes a loud noise. If you were repulsed by the idea of eating a ****** (cv), the British banger would really make your stomach turn since it makes even a Taco Bell meal look like it contains high quality meat. The Tabloid press seem to think that the European Economic Community (the UK is a rather reluctant member) wants to ban the British Banger. WRONG! They just want to reduce the breadcrumb, eyes and goolies (male genitals) content and put meat in instead...
Baseball. In England we play a game called 'Rounders' which has identical rules bar the bat being a short baton designed to be used with only one hand. It's only played in schools. In the US, it's a PROPER game...
Beer. What you call beer, we call lager. What we call beer, you call disgusting. This might be mutual.
*******. *******, although a word in common use now in both our countries was referred to as 'Plating' before the GIs came over during WWII. Hence the calling card of Cynthia Plaster-Caster, the woman who made plaster casts of the erect ******* of Jimi Hendrix and the Dave Clark Five, amongst others, had 'Your plater or mine?' on her calling cards...
Bonk. In a similar vein, to bonk someone in the UK is to enjoy sexual congress with them. It also means to hit someone, usually on the head. The two might be related if you like that sort of thing...
Bum. In the UK, the definition of 'buns' (cv) describes more than adequately the biggest muscle in the body. In the US, a person whom we would call a tramp. Also the act of being a bum.
Buns. You know what these are. You're probably sitting on them now. Over here buns are either bread or cake rolls. Asking for a couple of sticky buns in a bakery here will mean Mr Crusty the baker will give you two cake buns with icing (frosting) on the top. If I went into a deli in Manhattan and asked for a couple of sticky buns I'd probably get arrested...
Buying a drink. Those establishments where you buy alcohol late at night where you are not allowed to drink it on the premises are called Off Licences (or Offies) in the UK and Liquor Stores in the US. I'm over 21 and was repeatedly carded(US)/id'ed(UK) when I tried to buy beer (this was before I tried American beer). I thought that a British Passport was good enough ID for a liquor store since it got me in the country, but no, I needed an in-state driver's licence. Hellooo? I'm a tourist with a British Passport and an English accent who is wearing a t-shirt with UK tour dates on the back. Don't you think I *might* be the genuine article? (Sorry. The incident still annoys me.)
Candy. We call them sweets. Unless they are American confectionary, then we call them candy too. I have met quite a few Americans girls called 'Candy' but never ever an English one called 'Sweets'.
Cars. In the UK, only the luxury car market have automatic transmission - in other words the Jaguars, Rolls Royces and Bentleys of the world. Most cars have manual transmission. This is because our roads aren't straight. As a consequence all learner drivers have to learn how to drive using a car with manual gears. I was told that in the States this is referred to as 'learning how to drive stick.' In the UK, asking your driving instructor whether he could teach you how to drive stick may cause potential embarrassment...
Cheeky. In the UK to say someone is 'cheeky' is to imply that they are suggestively rude.
****. There are four obvious meanings that are common to both the English and the Americans. A ***** (*****), a male bird, to ready a gun and to knock or place something off centre. In England there is a fifth. If a person says 'Ello ****!' they are greeting you as a close personal friend. The first meaning may also apply if you are a very close personal friend and the third may apply if the first makes it's unwanted presence known in an unsuitable situation...
Cookies. You eat these with milk and with great self control you only eat two at a time (you don't? naughty!). We call them biscuits. You call biscuits those dry crackery things that might go in soup (or at least in the part of the US I went to).
Crime and punishment. If you had 'been a naughty boy' and taken to court, you may find yourself confronted by a 'beak' (a magistrate), who might send you down for some time 'at her Majesty's Pleasure'. You would go to gaol (or jail), or 'nick' as it is sometimes confusingly called.
Crossing the road. In the UK we love our cute fluffy and feathery friends. So much in fact that we name our road crossings after them. We have pedestrian walkways that have broad black & white stripes (like on the cover of 'Abbey Road' by the Beatles) which we call 'Zebra Crossings'. We also have crossings akin to yours with the 'walk/don't walk' signs on them which have a little red man standing still and a little green man walking. These are illuminated when you are supposed to stay where you are or walk respectively. For some inexplicable reason this is called a 'pelican crossing'. As for the little green man flashing...
Crusty. In the US the state of a bread roll when it is freshly baked and smelling yummy. In the UK, as well as this, a person of possibly no real fixed abode who engages in an alternative lifestyle involving travelling around the country, wearing 'alternative' clothes (ex-army or hippie gear), having a pragmatic attitude to drugs and has possibly dubious personal hygiene. They would rather be called 'Travellers' and I admire them for their stance against 'straight' society. (oooh a bit of politics there...)
Cutlery. The tools you eat with. You guys also call them flatware.
Dinky. In the US something that is small or poorly made. In the UK something small and cute. I'm not sure if you had Dinky Cars in the US, but these toy cars are now worth a fortune over here. And I gave all mine away too (sob!)...
Drug slang. The UK has rock festivals like Reading, Phoenix and Glastonbury. The UK also has some drug slang which you might hear if you were into such things at these events
Vera Lynns (or Veras) - skins or tobacco papers (named after a WWII singer.)
Mandies - Mandy Smiths (very young ex wife of ex Rolling Stone Bill Wyman) or spliffs.
Billy Whizz - speed or amphetamine - named after a comic character who could run very fast.
E - ecstacy or MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine). Much hilarity ensues when a contestant on the UK quiz show 'Blockbusters' asks host Bob Holness 'for an e'. Ho ho.
There are many others...
Easy. When an English girl says 'I'm easy' she is not saying 'Please sleep with me.' She is saying 'I don't mind what we do.'
English Swear Words. Our chums across the Atlantic should be warned about the following. If some English bloke comes up to you and uses one or more of them when addressing you, please be careful. He may not be friendly...
Bloody. You guys might describe an item covered in blood as 'bloody'. So might we. 'Bloody' is also a mild English swear word which is always used in cheesy programs made by Americans about the UK. Hardly anyone over here uses it anymore. Similarly, the word 'bleeding'. We use '****' just as much as you guys, the big difference being that we can use it on network television after 9pm in a non-gratutious way, whereas you can only shout '****' in the privacy of your own home. So there.
Bollocks. The round male dangly bits. Also, saying 'the dog's bollocks' is akin to stating 'this is the ****' in the US. Not to be confused in agricultural circles with 'bullocks' which are bull shaped and go 'moo!'.
Naff off. Go away. As used by the Princess Royal, Princess Anne. For a while she was known as the 'Naff Off Princess' in the tabloid press.
Nancy boy. A male who may express either a sexual preference for his own gender or acts in a less than masculine way.
Plonker. Another ***** euphenism. Immortalised in the TV program 'Only Fools and Horses', starring David Jason & Nicholas Lyndhurst - 'You plonker Rodney!'.
Slag. A woman of uncertain worth and reliability. Also used in English 1970s police shows (e.g. The Sweeney) when describing a notorious criminal. (e.g. Dosser Jenkins? That slaaaaag!). Originally used to describe a by-product of the (now sadly nearly defunct) coal mining industry.
Spanner. Not only a component of every good mechanic's toolbox (see below) but also someone not overly blessed with intelligence or savoir faire. A geek, nerd, dork or a dweeb in other words.
Tosser. See '******' and then use your imagination... Also tosspot.
Wanger. Many a Saturday night I have heard this word being shouted by rival groups of young men at each other. The dulcit cries of 'Oi Wanger!!' have disturbed the peace of many a town centre. It is a word used to either describe a ***** or an attempt by the alcoholically challenged to say '******'.
******. A charming little word that implies that the addresser is accusing the addressee of onanism. Usually accompanied by the coital f-word and the oedipal compound-noun. The addresser may also raise his right hand and portray a chillingly accurate portrayal of the act in question...
Wazzock - a fool or idiot.
Strange fact: British males often use ******, bastard, tosser, plonker etc as terms of endearment.
***. A goody but an oldie. Over here a '***' is a cigarette. So in the song 'It's a long way to Tipperary' the line 'As long as you have a Lucifer to light your ***' is not a fundamentalist Christian's statement that all homosexuals will burn for eternity in hell, but saying that 'if you always have a match to light your cigarette...'
*** #2. (Oh no not again!) When at a public (i.e. private - confused you will be) school in the UK, you may have to '***' for an older boy. This usually involves shining shoes, cleaning up and performing other favours for this older lad. In return for fagging, the older boy looks after your interests and makes sure that you fit into the school and promote the school spirit (bon vivre, not necessarily the alcoholic kind). This may also be a *** (i.e. a tiresome thing).
*******. Meat ***** made from offal (chopped liver) in gravy. Also a small bundle of logs suitable to burn on a fire.
Fancy. To be sexually attracted to or to desire. Also a tea cake.
Fanny. To us the front bottom; to you the back one. In Britain, the fanny pack is known as a bum bag for obvious reasons...
Flummoxed? Our US chums will be if you use this word. It means to be confused. The typical reaction of the average Brit upon arriving in the US. Then again you might be 'hit for six' (i.e. upset to the point of falling over) by it all. Which just isn't cricket, eh chaps?
Gas. To the citizens of the United Kingdom, an instrument of warfare, the stuff that you use to cook your dinner on or a state of matter that is neither liquid nor solid. To you guys, what we call petrol and the gaseous by product of bottom burps (wind).
Git. An undesirable and miserable person. Between 'sod' and 'bastard' on the 'are you going to get your head kicked in?' scale.
Grass. You can walk on it and you could smoke it (if it wasn't illegal). In the UK you can also do it as well. To grass on someone means to tell on them, usually to an authority figure like a policeman or a teacher. Someone who tells on a lot of people is known as a 'supergrass' - most often used when describing IRA informers who do the dirty on their Republican chums.
Hard. In the UK, you might see an unshaven tattooed uncouth man with big muscles in a pub. If you accidentally spill his beer, he might get upset and request you to join him outside. He might say `Come on then if you think you're hard enough!' Or even 'I'm hard, me, so you better watch your step, mate.' He is not casting aspersions on your sexual persuasion, nor does he have an erection. He is merely stating the fact that unless you buy him another pint of lager in the very immediate future he might beat seven shades of **** out of you.
Hood. To our American cousins, the bit of a car that the engine sits under or place where you might live if you are a rapper. To us Brits, the part of a coat that is designed to cover your head when it rains. What you call the 'hood' we call the 'bonnet' on a car.
Hotels. In the UK the floors in a hotel are numbered ground floor, first floor, second floor etc. In otherwords the first floor is the second floor, the second is the third and so on and so on. In the US, you have a more sensible numbering system. A good thing to note if you are a US bell-boy(UK)/bell-hop(US) looking for Take That's (screaaaaammmmm!) suite on the eighth floor in a UK hotel. (BTW Just follow the detritus of fluffy toys and soggy knickers (cv)...)
Irony. Along with sarcasm, the basis of English humour. Totally lost on most of our American chums. Saying '...NOT!' is not sarcasm.
Jelly & Jam. In the UK, jelly is either the stuff you US-types call jello or a seedless preserve made from fruit, sugar and pectin. To confuse things further, fruit preserves are generically called jam over here too. Hence, if you were in an English restaurant enjoying a piece of bread with peanut butter and fruit preserve on it you would be eating 'a peanut butter and jam sandwich.' BTW, I used to enjoy peanut and jelly sandwiches when I was little in the UK sense of the word... Sloppy, but very nice.
Jock. In the US, big guys who like sport, women and acting macho. In the UK, a Scottish person who probably also likes sport, women and acting macho but in a Glaswegian (i.e. from Glasgow) accent. Which is probably more scary since a lot of people have difficultly understanding them...
Khaki. In the UK a light beige colour. In US khaki can also be green when referring to army fatigues which are generically known as 'khaki'.
Knackered. I'm not sure if you have this word in the US. When I said I was knackered I got puzzled looks. It means you are tired. It comes from the fact that horses are often tired when they have testes removed (their knackers) when they are castrated. (Sorry! I guess you didn't want to know that...)
Knickers. A similar problem to 'pants' (cv). In the US they are knee-length trousers like what the Brits call 'breeches'. In the UK, they are the things that go underneath. Typically British men wear pants under their trousers and women wear knickers, unless of course, you are a Tory (Conservative) MP and then anything goes... Also NORWICH was an acronym used by service personel during WWII for '(k)Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home'. To be on the safe side when visiting the doctors it's best to keep your pants/knickers on...
'Knock you up'. In our country, to wake someone up in the morning so they won't be late. Slightly different meaning for our American Cousins... [e.g. "to impregnate, usually without intention ...]
Lemonade. In the US, non-fizzy fruit drink possibly made from lemons that we Brits call 'squash'. Our 'lemonade' is fizzy, akin to your pop or soda (depending on what part of the US you are from.) I was most disappointed when I found this out for the first time in a US cinema...
Lorry. A UK truck. A word used in the tongue twister 'Red Lorry Yellow Lorry' by parents to torture their kids. Try it. You'll hate me for it.
Mean. In the UK to be mean implies you are frugal to the point of being stingy. In the US you might be mean (i.e. aggressive) because of that English guy's inability to get his wallet out and buy you a beer (cv).
Merchant Banker. On both sides of the Atlantic an honourable and decent profession. In the UK, cockney rhyming slang for an onanist (see '******'). Possibly apt.
Muffler. To us what you call a muffler is called a silencer. In the UK a muffler is a long scarf a la Dickensian Novels. A muffler was also a derogatory name for a certain part of the female anatomy at my school, though this was probably unique to us. Try explaining THAT to a upstanding American when you are standing at the petrol (gas) station in fits of laughter...
Mug. There are many meanings to this word, e.g. a vessel to contain your 'cuppa' (cup of tea). In the UK, a mug is a fool or an idiot and to mug up is to learn. In the US a mug is a thug or a hoodlum (shortened version of mugger I suppose). In other words, you better mug up on how not to be a mug before you are mugged by a mug.
North/South divide. Ask anyone from the north of England where the North ends and the South begins, they might say 'Worksop' is the dividing line. Ask anyone from the south and they might say 'north of Oxfordshire' or even 'north of London'. These definitions differ by well over 100 hundred miles! In the north the people have cloth caps, whippets (racing dogs, not aerosol cans of whipped cream!), keep pigeons, speak in a funny way and drink bitter in grim working mens clubs. In the south, the people are either country yokels who speak in a funny way, or people with loads of money who speak like the Queen or brash Cockneys who speak in funny way while engaged in dealings of a dubious nature and drinking lager. That is, if you believe the stereotypes as portrayed in the media. It is all utter bollocks (cv).
Pants. You call pants what we call trousers; pants are the things that go underneath.
Pardon. Being sorry is part of being English. We apologise for things that aren't our fault again and again and again. I am convinced that the first word that an English baby learns to say after 'Mama' and 'Dada' is 'sorry'. Anyway, 'pardon me' is a polite way of excusing your way through a crowd or excusing yourself or if your bodily functions betray you in public. The US equivalent, 'excuse me' only seems to be used in a sarcastic way, i.e. 'Well excuuuuuse me!' while exchanging lawyers' telephone numbers.
Pastie. A pastie is a meat and potato pastry that originates from Cornwall, UK. In the guidebook I had for Michigan, it mentioned that some cornish tin miners had come over and brought over the recipe with them when they settled the Upper Peninsula. Even so, I had to taken aside and carefully told what an American pastie was so I wouldn't embarrass parents in front of children at the summer camp I was working at when I was talking about my liking for Cornish Pasties... [in the U.S., "pasties" are the small stars covering the nipples of amply-breasted female entertainers in "adult entertainment" centers]
Pecker. To keep one's pecker up is a state of mind in the UK, and an athletic feat in the US . . .
Pint. English pints show remarkable value for money compared to their US conterparts - 567ml compared to 430ml. Good thing to know when ordering beer.
Pissed. To you it's quite legal to be pissed in a car in a traffic jam. In fact, in large cities sometimes you cannot help it. For us, it means that you have been over doing it 'down the boozer' (pub) and a kindly policeman will shortly flag you down and arrest you.
Policemen. UK policemen are unarmed. As a consequence I feel safer over here than I did in the US. Anyway, the following are used to describe policemen: bobbies, peelers, filth, cops, pigs, the old Bill (or the Bill), rozzers, coppers, a plod or perhaps 'bastards' if you are feeling lucky. I'm not sure how many of those you guys might use. Imagine you are a tea leaf (thief) and you spot a car in good nick (reasonable condition) so you decide to nick (steal) it. Along comes PC (Police Constable) Plod, puts his hand on your shoulder and says 'You're nicked mate!' even though he isn't your friend and he probably isn't wielding a knife. This is your cue to say 'It's a fair cop! You got me banged to rights and make no mistake. You'll find the rest of the swag (ill-gotten gains) in the sack!' if you are stupid or 'I aint done nuffink copper!' if you are aren't.
Potty. In both countries 'potty' is that little plastic seat that kids are forced to use when they need to expel bodily waste when they are too big for nappies(UK) / diapers(US). Americans take the meaning of this word into adult life unchanged. English chaps use 'potty' to describe someone who is a bit silly, dolalley or, to be frank, mad. After watching the film 'The Madness of King George', I can see how the two meanings might have a common ancestry...
Randy. In the US a perfectly reasonable first name. Pity then, the multitude of poor Americans given this unfortunate appellation when they come over to old Blighty. Wherever they go, grimy street urchins snigger, little old ladies try desperately to stifle guffaws and ordinarily quite sensible members of society burst out in laughter. And why? In the UK, saying 'Hi, I'm Randy!' is akin to saying to our American cousins 'Hello friend, I'm feeling horny.' However, save your pity for poor soul Randy Highman who introduced himself to my supervisor at a conference not so long ago...
Roundabout. Imagine you are travelling in the UK along the M3 into Basingstoke. You have already worked out that a motorway is the same as a freeway and you are feeling pretty pleased with yourself. In front of you is the biggest rotary [traffic circle] you have ever seen. In the UK, we call them roundabouts.
Rubber. In this country a pencil eraser. Don't be shocked if the mild mannered new Englishman in your office asks for a pencil with a rubber on the end. Especially when he says that he enjoys chewing it when he is thinking.
Rumpty. The latest word coined by the British Tabloid Press for fun stuff in the dark. Obviously they got bored with bonking... Anyway, a typical sex scandal headline in the Sun (infamous tabloid paper owned by Rupert Murdock) would read 'Robbie-ex-from-Take-That (screaaaaammmmm!) caught in four in bed rumpty with Divine Brown, OJ and some ugly Tory Minister who will shortly be resigning'....
****. To you a dance. To us sexual congress. In otherwords you may have to summon up the courage to have a **** with someone, before you might have a **** with them later on. Also a sea bird similar to a cormorant and a type of rough tobacco.
Slash. In the US a line denoting a separation on the written page or on a computer, or even a rip or tear in a piece of material. In the UK also a euphenism for a wee, a jimmy riddle or urination. Also the name of a rather well known guitarist who was born in England and hence should have thought a little harder before choosing his 'nom de rock'n'roooolll, man'.
Sneakers. We call these 'trainers' for some reason.
Snogging. You know that thing you do when you are with your loved one when you tickle each others tonsils? In the UK that's called snogging. Much beloved of kids at school discos in between swigging illicit bottles of vodka and Special Brew beer and 'getting on down' to Take That (screaaaaammmmm!) (popular beat combo in the UK much admired by girlies).
Soldiers. On both sides of the Atlantic, members of the military who run around shooting things while wearing khaki (cv). Also in the UK, soldiers are pieces of buttered toast or bread that you dip in your soft boiled egg at breakfast. Yum!
Spanner. You see that long metal object in your tool kit that you use to adjust bolts on your car? We call that a spanner, not a wrench.
Spunk. In the US it is perfectly acceptable for a boss to ask whether you are feeling full of spunk of a morning (i.e. full of get up and go.) This situation in the UK may only arise when a director is quizzing a male actor in the adult entertainment business.
Squash. To you a vegetable. To us a fruit drink similar to US lemonade. Also called 'cordial', though how friendly a bottle of orange squash can be is open to debate.
Stones. To you big rock things that geologists play with. To us also a unit of weight. 1 stone is equal to 14 pounds.
Stuffed. To be full up after eating too many cookies. Also 'Get Stuffed' a cookery program for insomniac students and people on a low income, where you are told how to make fancy versions of beans on toast using everyday ingredients like baked beans, bread, butter and curry powder. The recipies are invariably called things like 'Currybeanytoasty-yum-yum-a-go-go'. As well, 'get stuffed' is something you say to someone who isn't your best mate.
Sucker. In both countries a fool or a silly person. Also a piece of candy on the end of a stick that us Brits call a lollipop or a lolly. We also call money 'lolly' too to make things just that little bit more confusing...
Suspenders. In the UK those things that women hold their stocking up with. You call them garters. Confusingly, when I was in Cub Scouts, the things with the tags on them you used to hold your socks up were called garters too. These were instruments of torture - ideal for pinging and causing yelps of pain during prayer on church parade services. Some children are sooo cruel. Anyway, what you call suspenders we call braces.
Swank. In both countries to be 'swanky' implies that you are showy and vulgar, or to say that something is 'swanky' could also mean that it is posh or expensive. Comic book characters (e.g. those in UK comics The Beano and Whizzer & Chips) are often seen going into the 'Hotel de Swank' after getting money for some good turn, where they promptly blow it all on a plate of mashed potato with sausages sticking out of it. I have never seen such a delicacy on offer in the hotels I have been in, much to my disappointment. I have also been reliably informed that 'Swank' is also the name of a US DIY magazine populated by young women who have great difficulty keeping their clothes on or their legs together. They also wear high heels in bed. Weird.
Table. Imagine you are in a boardroom. The chairperson (note dubious PC nomenclature) says 'I reckon we should table the motion about the McBigcorp account'. If you were American you would think 'Gee, I guess we can forget about that for a while' - i.e. the motion has been postponed. If you were English, you would think 'Jolly good show old bean! I fancied (cv) talking about that one!', i.e. the motion has been brought up for discussion. How do people in trans-atlantic companies cope?
Tire. When visiting the garage make sure you know the difference between a UK tire (band of metal placed around the rim of a wheel designed to strengthen it) and a US tire (pneumatic effort called a 'tyre' in the UK). If you make a mistake it could be a very long and bumpy ride home.
Toilets. Although we have a lot of colourful euphenisms for the lavatory experience in the UK (e.g. spend a penny, watering the daisies) we lack the prissiness of our American chums. To us a toilet is a bog, a kharzi, a ****house (or alternatively an outhouse in more polite company), a gents/ladies but mostly a toilet. It is perfectly acceptable to be in the Ritz and request to use the toilet. However, you guys seem ashamed of the t-word. Hence you go to the John (where no-one called John is there) and the bathroom (where there is no bath). ...And a word of warning for English chaps in the US - never admit to eating baked beans out of the can.
Trunk. In the US what we in the UK call the boot of a car. In the UK, the trunk is the front end of an elephant. Can be embarrassing if you happen to be a pachyderm working as a taxi driver in NY. (Also a large metal and wooden box much beloved of Edwardian travellers).
****. In the US, calling someone a **** is unwise since you are accusing them of resembling a part of the female anatomy. In the UK, a mild insult meaning 'idiot' much beloved of school children who might get into trouble with naughtier words.
Warm clothing. In the UK we wear warm woolly upper garments during the winter which we call 'jumpers'. You call them 'sweaters'. Also a long woolly dress is called a 'jumper' in the US.
Waste disposal. In the UK our household waste is called 'rubbish' and is taken away by the dustmen or bin men in their dustcart. In the US you have two types of household waste - garbage and trash. Also, you see that piece of street furniture which you are supposed to put the packaging from your lunch? We call them bins; you call then trash cans. I was sooo confused about this.
Wellies. In the UK a type of waterproof rubberised boot named after that Great Englishman, the Duke Of Wellington. You guys in the US would call them 'gumboots' [Pittsburgh region], 'galoshes' or 'rubber boots'. In the UK wellies are much beloved of Tory MPs with large country estates and farmer-types with sheep, particularly the 'Hunter' welly with the handy straps on the side.
Women's things. Pads = US. Towels = UK. Tampons = everywhere.
Z. The twenty sixth letter of the alphabet. You call it 'Zee'; we call it 'Zed'. A whole generation in England has had to relearn the alphabet after hearing the 'Alphabet song' on Sesame Street. Sadder still, the song doesn't rhyme with the English 'Zed'. At least the 'Numbers song' works (1-2-3-4-5, 6-7-8-9-10, 11-12, do do-do do-do do-do do etc etc...)

exS4||wp0ZZZ

ttt, you coming to sandy point tomorrow(how did the bar go?)