Kriminal

CHINESE SICK LEAVE: "I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!"

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work."

The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work
soon........ You got nice house."

Kriminal

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and
step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not
bothering to dress.
He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand and heads back to the
showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.
Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like
he's a statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood. Startled,
he drops a bar of soap.

'Oh look ' says the first nun, 'it's a soap dispenser'.

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood. Sure
enough, he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice and
three times but nothing happens.

So she gives several more tugs, then yells...





'Holy Mary, Mother of God, HAND LOTION TOO