Kriminal

President Bush is rehearsing his speech for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. He begins his remarks with "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!"
Immediately his speech writer rushes over to the lectern and whispers in the President's ear: "Mr President, those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is underneath."

Kriminal

An elderly man and his wife are taking a stroll through the country when they spy a fence where they used to conduct their courting.
Excited by this, they make love furiously, with their arms and legs waving about everywhere.
When they are finished, the woman says, surprised, "You never had sex with me like that 50 years ago", to which the man replies "Well, that fence wasn't electric 50 years ago."

Kriminal

Three very macho mice are standing around trying to outdo each other. The first mouse says: "You know those little pellets they put out around the house trying to poison us? I love those things. I eat 'em like candy."
The second mouse, not to be outdone says: "Oh yeah? Well, you know those mousetraps they put out to try to catch us? What I do is get on the trap, grab the cheese, and then flip over onto my back, and when the steel bar comes swinging down, I grab it and do bench presses with it."
The third mouse says: "You guys are really a couple of tough mice, and I'd love to keep hangin' out with you here, but I gotta go screw the cat."

Kriminal

A blonde with two burnt ears goes to the doctor, who asks what has happened.
"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron."
"What about the other one?"
"They called back."

Kriminal

After undergoing a full medical, a nervous man summons up the courage to ask his doctor: "How long have I got left to live?"
"Okay, I'll give it to you straight," the doctor replies. "Ten..."
"Ten what?" asks the terrified man. "Years, months, weeks, days?"
"Ten, nine, eight..."

RoberTT-WWCD

Good ones all, Dave...:-)