Funny read for your enjoyment
11-09-2006, 12:07 PM
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Funny read for your enjoyment
These are actual Employee Evaluations!
*Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows sings of starting to dig.
*His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
*I would not allow this man to breed.
*This employees is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definately won't be.
*Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
*When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
*He would be ouf of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
*This man has delusion of adequacy.
*He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.
*This employee should go far--the sooner he starts, the better.
*This employee is deprivig a village somewhere of an idiot.
*Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasnt' watching.
*Got a six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it all together.
*A gross ignoramus---144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
*A photographic memory, but with the lens cap glued on.
*Bright as Alaska in December.
*Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished using it.
*Fell ouf of his family tree.
*The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
*This man has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
*If brains were taxed, he would get a rebate.
*Any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.
*If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change back.
*If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
*It's hard to believe that he beat of 1,000,000 other sperm.
*Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he gargled.
*Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
*Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and shows sings of starting to dig.
*His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
*I would not allow this man to breed.
*This employees is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definately won't be.
*Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
*When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
*He would be ouf of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
*This man has delusion of adequacy.
*He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.
*This employee should go far--the sooner he starts, the better.
*This employee is deprivig a village somewhere of an idiot.
*Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasnt' watching.
*Got a six-pack, but is missing the plastic thingy that holds it all together.
*A gross ignoramus---144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
*A photographic memory, but with the lens cap glued on.
*Bright as Alaska in December.
*Donated his brain to science before he was quite finished using it.
*Fell ouf of his family tree.
*The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
*This man has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
*If brains were taxed, he would get a rebate.
*Any dumber and he would have to be watered twice a week.
*If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change back.
*If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
*It's hard to believe that he beat of 1,000,000 other sperm.
*Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he gargled.
*Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
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