Happy Friday peeps (joke time).....
#1
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Read each line aloud
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top
#2
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A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the
fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them! into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "what's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade.
Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the
fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.
He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them! into the lions cage because lions eat anything.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "what's the food like here?"
The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees."
#3
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After a circus performance a reporter comes up to a trainer and wonders how the trainer managed to train his cows to do all these neat tricks since cows are such stupid animals.
"Easy" says the trainer "I used to work as a sys admin at my prior job".
"Easy" says the trainer "I used to work as a sys admin at my prior job".
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