XCLR8TT

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind.
Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it.
You'll really love my place.
The grass is almost a foot high."

Kriminal

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman says, "Hey,
you're a duck!"

"Nothing wrong with your eyesight," observes the duck.

"Yeah, but I mean...I've never seen a talking duck," says the barman.

"Have you ever seen a duck drinking beer?"

"No."

"You will as soon as you pour me one," answers the duck.

The barman serves the duck a pint and asks him, "So, what brings a
duck like you to these parts?"

"Oh," says the duck, "I work on the building site across the road.
We'll be here for a couple of weeks, and I'll most likely be in every
lunch hour." The duck drinks his beer, wiggling his tail happily.
And just like he said, every day, he waddles over from his job and has
his lunchtime beverage.

The next week, a circus comes to town. The circus owner wanders in
for a pint, and the barman tells him about the talking duck. "You
should get this duck to join your circus," he says. "Everyone would
love to see a talking duck."

The circus man nods his agreement, and the barman agrees to talk to
the duck about the circus.

The following day, the duck comes in at lunchtime, as usual. The
barman says to the duck (with $$$ signs in his eyes),
"You know, the circus is in town, and yesterday I was chatting to the owner about you."

"Really?" says the duck.

"Yeah. You could make a lot of money there. I can fix it up for you
easily. He wants to hire you"

"Hang on," said the duck. "You did say a CIRCUS, didn't you?"

"That's right."

"Big top?"

"Yes"

"That's the one with those big canvas tents, isn't it?"

"Of course," replied the barman, "I can get you a job there starting
tomorrow. The circus owner's crazy about the idea."

The duck looked very puzzled. "But what does he want with a plasterer?"

XCLR8TT

This is truly a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers. This makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar.

The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with a crew building a house."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those useless sons-a-bitches at Home Depot ever bring us any drywall that's worth a ****!"