Kriminal

A older man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day
there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.

A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did
you call for me?'

The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'

She says, 'You must be new here.. Let me explain. It's a rule here
that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.'

Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly
pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Later, the man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He
enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts.

Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, 'Did you call for me?'says the hairy man.

'No, what do you mean?' asks the newcomer.

'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.'
The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has
his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office where a smiling,
naked receptionist greets him. 'May I help you?' she asks.

The man yells, 'Here's my membership card. You can have the key
back and you can keep the $500 membership fee!'

'But, Sir,' she replies, 'You've only been here for a few hours.
You haven't had the chance to see all we have to offer!'

The man replies, 'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I get an erection once a
month.

I fart 15 times a day!
Let me out of here!