OT: What I did last night. Very long.
08-12-2001, 10:01 AM
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OT: What I did last night. Very long.
Last night at around 1 am, I'm at the computer. Spencer is dozing at my feet. The french doors are wide open allowing a mild Pacific breeze to enter the house from the ocean side.
Mike and his friend Robb are standing near me and telling me all about an Eclipse that appeared in the movie Fast and Furious that they saw in Laguna earlier in the evening. The conversation is very animated and no one is paying any attention to what walks through the front doors. Spencer, on the other hand, as sound asleep as he is, picks up on it with his canine radar and bolts (and I mean BOLTS!) into action.
Robb comments that Spencer is playing with a very realistic gopher stuffed toy. Gopher stuffed toy? Huh? Wait! I look and immediately yell, "That's no toy, that's a rat!! A real live rat!!" And the fun began!
Spencer momentarily let go and the rat went scurrying around the house with a wire fox terrier in hot pursuit. At that point all three of us did what anyone would do in a similar situation. We got a terminal case of the creeps and wished there was an all night exterminator that we could call. We're talking small cat-sized rat here. This was a Tim Burton-like rendition of what rats should look like and I was not thrilled with the prospect of it getting lost in the house.
Sure enough it did. Somewhere in the kitchen. We cautiously opened all the cupboards, but found nothing. I retired Spencer to the lawn and we set out food traps all over the kitchen, shut off the lights and waited.
It's now 2:30. Robb and Mike are conked out on the living room sofa and I'm back at the Mac waiting to hear anything that might indicate the intruder broke its cover.
A slight rattle of windex bottles and then a big toppling sound and I knew the bastard was under the sink. The boys didn't hear a thing, so I ventured into the kitchen by myself. All lights get turned on. Fatal error.
Opening the doors below the sink, I peered into the recesses of the storage area and thought I saw an object moving in the far corner. I got in closer for a better look. My head was now 6 inches away from the garbage disposal unit. As I stared ever harder, I caught a slight movement out of the corner of my eye and it was above my head. I glanced up and there in all his hellish glory was the rat perched on the top of the garbage disposal motor and looking straight at me!
Bam! My head lurched up and caught the door opening. Major blood flow now. Wild cursing reverberates through the house.
Hearing me reinvent four letter words prompts Robb and Mike to awaken from their stupor and head for the scene. The rat in the meantime decided to make a run for it. As they screeched into the kitchen they saw the rat barreling down on them and my head bleeding profusely. Head cuts are the worst for blood flow. Anyway, the boys think the worst. The rat attacked dad! Lol!
Fear thrown to the wind, they advanced on Norway's finest with a vengeance. Only now the rat made a beeline for the subwoofer underneath my desk in the den and tucked in behind it.
We had him cornered.
We surrounded the speaker armed with a broom, garden watering nozzle and an eight pound weight (that would have been messy). Flinging the sub aside on the count of three we got set to pounce. 1-2-3! What? No rat!
The sub is part of the MM1000 Monsoon sound system. It has a port in the back. You guessed it. It went into the sub.
We disconnected the sub and took it out to the lawn. Three thirty and there was still no sign of the midnight rambler. At 4 we decided to remove the grill and unscrew the speaker. Mission accomplished. But there was no friggin rat inside! What the?
Before buttoning everything back up again and continuing the house search I decided to probe a bit around the foam baffling material. But I'm smart now, so I don gloves. Thick leather ones for brush clearing. They could have been steel gauntlets, it still wouldn't have made a bit of difference once I reached in and pried the foam away from the sides. The not so little ***** was in a corner and made a break for it. DOWN MY HAND, UP MY ARM, OVER MY SHOULDER, AND I CAN STILL FEEL IT NOW, DOWN MY BACK and on to the beach with Spencer hot on his heels!!! EEWWWWW!
We laughed our asses off til sunrise. And then it was double shower time for me.
I have a horrible headache but at least the rat is gone.
The end. Go back to your regularly scheduled lives.
Mike and his friend Robb are standing near me and telling me all about an Eclipse that appeared in the movie Fast and Furious that they saw in Laguna earlier in the evening. The conversation is very animated and no one is paying any attention to what walks through the front doors. Spencer, on the other hand, as sound asleep as he is, picks up on it with his canine radar and bolts (and I mean BOLTS!) into action.
Robb comments that Spencer is playing with a very realistic gopher stuffed toy. Gopher stuffed toy? Huh? Wait! I look and immediately yell, "That's no toy, that's a rat!! A real live rat!!" And the fun began!
Spencer momentarily let go and the rat went scurrying around the house with a wire fox terrier in hot pursuit. At that point all three of us did what anyone would do in a similar situation. We got a terminal case of the creeps and wished there was an all night exterminator that we could call. We're talking small cat-sized rat here. This was a Tim Burton-like rendition of what rats should look like and I was not thrilled with the prospect of it getting lost in the house.
Sure enough it did. Somewhere in the kitchen. We cautiously opened all the cupboards, but found nothing. I retired Spencer to the lawn and we set out food traps all over the kitchen, shut off the lights and waited.
It's now 2:30. Robb and Mike are conked out on the living room sofa and I'm back at the Mac waiting to hear anything that might indicate the intruder broke its cover.
A slight rattle of windex bottles and then a big toppling sound and I knew the bastard was under the sink. The boys didn't hear a thing, so I ventured into the kitchen by myself. All lights get turned on. Fatal error.
Opening the doors below the sink, I peered into the recesses of the storage area and thought I saw an object moving in the far corner. I got in closer for a better look. My head was now 6 inches away from the garbage disposal unit. As I stared ever harder, I caught a slight movement out of the corner of my eye and it was above my head. I glanced up and there in all his hellish glory was the rat perched on the top of the garbage disposal motor and looking straight at me!
Bam! My head lurched up and caught the door opening. Major blood flow now. Wild cursing reverberates through the house.
Hearing me reinvent four letter words prompts Robb and Mike to awaken from their stupor and head for the scene. The rat in the meantime decided to make a run for it. As they screeched into the kitchen they saw the rat barreling down on them and my head bleeding profusely. Head cuts are the worst for blood flow. Anyway, the boys think the worst. The rat attacked dad! Lol!
Fear thrown to the wind, they advanced on Norway's finest with a vengeance. Only now the rat made a beeline for the subwoofer underneath my desk in the den and tucked in behind it.
We had him cornered.
We surrounded the speaker armed with a broom, garden watering nozzle and an eight pound weight (that would have been messy). Flinging the sub aside on the count of three we got set to pounce. 1-2-3! What? No rat!
The sub is part of the MM1000 Monsoon sound system. It has a port in the back. You guessed it. It went into the sub.
We disconnected the sub and took it out to the lawn. Three thirty and there was still no sign of the midnight rambler. At 4 we decided to remove the grill and unscrew the speaker. Mission accomplished. But there was no friggin rat inside! What the?
Before buttoning everything back up again and continuing the house search I decided to probe a bit around the foam baffling material. But I'm smart now, so I don gloves. Thick leather ones for brush clearing. They could have been steel gauntlets, it still wouldn't have made a bit of difference once I reached in and pried the foam away from the sides. The not so little ***** was in a corner and made a break for it. DOWN MY HAND, UP MY ARM, OVER MY SHOULDER, AND I CAN STILL FEEL IT NOW, DOWN MY BACK and on to the beach with Spencer hot on his heels!!! EEWWWWW!
We laughed our asses off til sunrise. And then it was double shower time for me.
I have a horrible headache but at least the rat is gone.
The end. Go back to your regularly scheduled lives.
