The Ten Audi Commandments
In the beginning, there was only two-wheel drive. And then Audi said, "Let there be Quattro." And it was good. So is our list of ten rules for all Audi owners.
Intro
What we have here is the list of ten basic principles relating to ownership of an Audi vehicle. If you want to be a good Audi owner, it all starts with following this set of rules. Of course, there are many others that we would recommend, but it all starts with these. If you are a current or prospective Audi owner, you should learn and memorize this list.
Now, before we reveal these ten Audi commandments, we must call out that this is meant to be a fun, tongue-in-cheek list. We are not making any sort of religious statement here, and we are not making light of any religion. With that out of the way, let’s get to the list.
10. Thou Shalt Not Ignore Recommended Maintenance
Buying an Audi is a significant investment. You want to protect that investment, and the best way to do so is by keeping up with the recommended maintenance. There is nothing sadder than a neglected Audi. Deferring maintenance is just going to cause you more problems down the line. If you take care of your Audi, your Audi will take care of you for many years to come.
9. Thou Shalt Not Park Your Audi for the Winter
An Audi is all about having fun in all seasons. It will not melt in the rain or even the snow. Sure, you will want to wash the road salt off of it as soon as you can, but that is a small price to pay for having a good time in your Audi all year long. Don’t let your Audi sit on the sidelines for several months a year while you drive something else. Get your Audi out on the road, it can handle it.
8. Honor Thy Classic Audis
Sure, the latest R8 GT or RS 3 may grab all the headlines. But they would not be here without some of the classic models that came before them. We must honor all Audi models and especially those from generations ago. They laid the groundwork for the modern Audi of today and we should honor them accordingly.
7. Thou Shalt Not Speak of Unintended Acceleration
This was the scandal that almost ruined Audi. There were reports that the Audi 5000 would accelerate even when the driver had applied the brakes and as if it had a mind of its own it would rocket down the highway and run people down. None of this was true. But a certain ‘news’ program rigged an Audi so it would behave this way, and Americans panicked. It was a huge black eye for Audi, but it was not their fault at all. It is best that this is never spoken of again.
6. Thou Shall Honor Vorsprung durch Technik
Progress through technology. It has been the Audi motto for about a half a century. But it is more than just a motto, it is a mindset at Audi. It is part of everything they do from motorsports to road cars to customer experience. It is the Audi way to not accept the status quo and to keep evolving and advancing.
5. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's BMW
Your neighbor may bring home a sexy new BMW and park it in the middle of the driveway for all the world to see. And maybe it catches your eye for a moment. But do not be tempted. Stay true to your Audi. It is likely the better car anyway.
4. Keep the RS Cars Holy
The Audi RS cars are the top of the heap. The RS models are the holy grail of performance cars from Audi. Every Audi is to be respected and admired. But we must note that the Audi RS models have a special place in the world. These cars can do things that no other Audi models can. The RS cars are dreams for many of us and we must always be mindful of that.
3. Thou Shalt Never Ignore a Fellow Audi Driver in Need
The Audi clan needs to stick together. When you buy an Audi, you are buying into a family. If you see a fellow Audi driver on the side of the road with a flat tire, or with the hood up, ask if they need assistance. Do not leave a fellow Audi driver behind. We all must stick together.
2. Thou shalt not Take Your Audi Through an Automatic Car Wash
This is a crime against any car, but especially a beautiful Audi. We all want a clean car, but an automatic car wash can do more harm than good. You might leave with a car that is slightly cleaner but also full of scratch and swirl marks. Wash the car yourself. It is one of the great joys of Audi ownership and will help you form a closer bond with your car.
1. Thou Shalt Not Worship Any All-Wheel Drive System Before Quattro
The Audi quattro all-wheel drive system is what defines Audi. Sure, there are other all-wheel drive systems from other manufacturers. But Audi made all-wheel drive popular with the quattro. It showed the world the advantages of such a system. The quattro system should always be held in the highest regard.
Images: Audi